Nigeria, We Need New Conversations!

Enough With the Gender Takes,Let’s Talk Art, Heritage, and Actual Progress.

It’s the weekend, and I’m scrolling through social media, my feed’s a melting pot of cultures. American pop culture, East Asian trends, and the latest Naija gossip.

Carême Apple Tv’s new Show/ Hulu’s The Bear (Sydcarmy).

I’m living my best life in the American discourse zone, film-centered, as it should be. We’re talking sinners here, thunderbolts there, and Apple TV’s Carême (the French Sydcarmy dupe) and the disposable black girlfriend trend in media. I’m thriving. Life is good.

But then, I scroll over to Nigerian content, and suddenly... wham. It’s rumors about an influencer's wedding, arguments over who gets to wear what attire, constant discussions about “submission” and whether women should, or shouldn’t, "submit." Gender wars, tribalism, and relationship drama everywhere, and I’m just like… what the hell is wrong with Nigeria?

Let’s face it, Nigerian social media is obsessed with gender roles and relationships. Whether it’s the latest gossip about an influencer’s marriage or heated debates about who can wear gele and why, we’re trapped in a perpetual loop of discussions that lack depth or substance. And the worst part? The narrative is repetitive. It’s all about submission, “respect,” and gender expectations. It’s as though our collective cultural conversation is stuck on a treadmill, spinning in circles with no forward movement.

What happened to the Nigerian stories that felt alive? The tales of Orishas, the legends of ancient kingdoms, the mythologies that could captivate and inspire us the way they do in other cultures? Why isn’t there more space for that?

The Cultural Landscape in Other Spaces.

Instead of sparking real conversations or using media to hold up a mirror to our society, we’re busy arguing over bridal trends and who should kneel during proposals.

Nigerian social media has turned gender roles into its personality. One week it’s about “submissive wives,” the next it’s “can you marry someone from another tribe?” Rinse, repeat. There’s no evolution. Just endless hot takes and recycled drama. Meanwhile, other social spaces are talking. I mean really talking.

In the American discourse zone, people are unpacking everything from the “disposable Black girlfriend” trope in TV and film to how global trade wars are playing out in tech, AI, and even TikTok bans. Over in South Korea, the timeline isn’t just gossiping about celebrities, they’re grappling with the disturbing allegations around Kim Soo Hyun and the tragic suicide of a young K-drama actress, discussing power abuse, grooming, and mental health in the entertainment industry.

These aren’t just conversations for clout. They’re uncomfortable, layered, and important. They show how media reflects real life, and how people are using the internet to process, critique, and demand better from their systems.

The State of Nigerian Discourse.

Here? We’re stuck in “As a High Valued Man!” Or “Feminists Arise!” conversations 😭😭😭. If social media is our generation’s agora, then ours is due for a serious upgrade. Not just in what we say, but in what we value.

Nigerian social media isn’t just obsessed with relationships and roles; it’s also become a space where people are constantly baiting outrage for engagement. You’ll see “takes” that are deliberately controversial, not because they’re thoughtful, but because they’re engineered to go viral.

A Nigerian Banger Boy

Enter the Banger Boys a group of mostly male Twitter users who thrive on stirring chaos. These aren’t stans; they’re trolls with Wi-Fi and too much free time. Earlier this week, they tried to push a narrative that Ayra Starr smells; completely baseless, malicious, and deeply unserious. This is the kind of online culture we’ve fostered: one where damaging someone’s reputation is just another Saturday pastime.

And might I say, for a country that isn’t inherently romantic, we sure do talk about relationships a lot.

It’s not that we shouldn’t talk about relationships or gender dynamics, these conversations matter. But we need to realize that there’s so much more to Nigeria. We have a rich cultural heritage, incredible folklore, and a future brimming with potential, but we’re squandering it on narratives that keep us small. There’s room for both nuance and joy in the conversation.

Meet the Nigerians shifting the narrative through:chess, art, travel, kindness and passion. These creators are reimagining what influence can look like.

We should be amplifying people like Tunde Onakoya, who’s transforming lives through Chess in Slums, bringing education and strategy to communities that the system often forgets. Or Alma Asinobi, who’s documenting her solo travel adventures with such vibrance, and just recently completed a Guinness World Record attempt. Let’s talk about creators like Renike, whose art captures the layers of Nigerian womanhood and identity with color, emotion, and cultural pride.

There’s also Asherkine, whose feel good videos, taking strangers on shopping sprees and makeovers, have built a following across Instagram and TikTok, spotlighting kindness and community in a fresh, relatable way.

Or Nneka (the Korean fan turned language tutor) using her passion for K-culture to spark curiosity and global learning among Nigerian youth.

These are the kinds of stories that should be trending, not recycled gender arguments and wedding hot takes, but narratives that show our depth, creativity, and potential.

We can be so much more than just gender debates and celebrity gossip. We need to break free from these limiting conversations and make space for art, for mythology, for intellectual discussions. Let’s ask ourselves: why is it that the Nollywood industry is loosing its identity? Where are the storytellers, the visionaries, the creators who will bring our true culture into the limelight?

So yes, Nigeria is obsessed with gender and relationships, but it’s also capable of greatness. It’s time we remembered that our history is rich with far more than just “who’s dating who” and “how to please your husband”

It’s time to explore who we really are and bring those conversations to the forefront.