The Sex Appeal Olympics
Why Is Every It Girl Put on Trial???
This piece has been sitting on my shelf for a while, but I think it’s finally ready for the world.
And it all started with a bar of soap, Sydney Sweeney’s, to be exact.
Months ago, she launched a soap brand that instantly went viral, not because of the product itself, but because of how it was marketed,basically as her bathwater for men, complete with an alleged hole in the bar 👀. Outrageous, right?
But instead of questioning the absurdity of that marketing choice, women online started pitting Sydney against Sabrina Carpenter, arguing over who had the better sex appeal.
And I remember thinking: why are women constantly dragged into these weird little sex appeal debates that literally nobody asked for?
Within hours, side-by-side posts comparing Sydney to Sabrina Carpenter were circulating, with people asking why, despite having similar features, Sydney is labeled as more sexually appealing.
This Thing Is Not About ‘Sex Appeal,’ It’s About Power
Let’s be honest. Most people don’t even know what they mean when they say someone has “sex appeal.” It’s vibes, yes. It’s confidence, maybe. But more than anything, it’s projection. It’s people deciding how you should be seen based on their imagination. A woman can be minding her business in a hoodie and still be called “not sexy enough,” just because someone online needs a new target for their shallow think piece.
It’s not just Sydney and Sabrina. We’ve seen this game play out so many times.
When Did Erica From BBNaija Sign Up for Trial?
One day, Erica Nlewedim is just living her life, being fine, posting photos, nothing crazy and then boom, someone randomly tweets, “Erica is beautiful, but she has no sex appeal.”
And for what?
She clapped back with, “Aww shame… I found your picture so sexy,” and honestly? Bars. But still, why are women being picked apart like this for simply existing? You can’t just let a woman be beautiful in peace without bringing up how “desirable” she is or isn’t?
That’s the whole point. It’s not about what she’s doing. It’s about how comfortable people feel deciding whether she’s sexy enough for their standards. And again, nobody asked
You Can’t Win Either Way.
Florence Pugh wears a sheer dress? She’s “doing too much.” Billie Eilish wears baggy clothes? She’s “trying to avoid her sex appeal.” Then she switches it up and shows skin? Suddenly it’s “attention-seeking.” Like… which one is it?
Even Taylor Swift saying “I’m not a bad bitch” in her new song Eldest Daughter has the internet spiraling. Some call it self-aware, others say she’s rejecting empowerment, proof that no matter how you frame your femininity, someone will still find a way to be mad about it.
And shoutout to Scarlett Johansson and Florence again. Scarlett was hyper-sexualized when she played Black Widow early on, and even she said she felt like the role was made for men to drool over. Then Florence comes in with a chiller, grounded version and still gets compared like its some sexiness contest. One gave you bombshell, one gave you cool rebel. And yet both still get reduced to “sexy or not?”
Bloody Civilian and the Politics of Not Playing the Game.
Bloody Civilian? She’s literally in her own lane, doing genre-bending music, not pandering to pop formulas and still, she gets dragged into this. Somebody actually tweeted, “Female artistes can’t compete fairly with their male counterparts, so they leverage on their sex appeal to further their career. Look at Bloody Civilian posting thirst trap pictures for clout.”
Like… are you okay?
She posts one revealing photo, and suddenly she’s selling sex to cover up lack of talent? Be serious. If a male artist shows skin, it’s “bold” or “edgy,” but if a woman does it, she’s thirsty or fake-deep. It’s always this weird need to punish women for owning their image, whether they’re covered, unclothed, or just vibing.
And let’s not act like the male gaze isn’t lurking in the background of that tweet. The real issue isn’t the outfit. It’s that she didn’t post it for you. She’s not flirting with the camera. She’s not smiling. She’s not asking for your approval. And that alone triggers people.
The Loudest Critics? Women.
Let’s be honest. It’s not always men. Sometimes the most ridiculous, nitpicky, backhanded comments come from women. And not the “girl power” kind. More like the “pick me” squad, the “you think you’re hot?” gang, the “I’m not hating, I’m just saying” crowd. That weird energy of scoring other women on their appeal like it’s a club with limited seating.
It’s giving comparison culture. It’s giving internalized misogyny. It’s giving... tired.
Why Is Sexiness a Requirement for Visibility?
Why is it that being an “It Girl” automatically comes with this imaginary checklist? Why do we talk about someone’s curves, waist-to-hip ratio, and energy before we mention their talent?
People act like sex appeal is some kind of golden ticket. Like if you don’t have it (by their ever-shifting standards), you don’t even deserve your fame. What happened to letting people just be good at their craft?
It’s always “she’s not sexy enough to be that famous,” as if success is measured by thirst traps and how well you “serve body.”
Some Women Flipped the Game
Tiwa Savage turned her sex tape scandal into a song. Rihanna made sex appeal her brand but on her own terms, and now no one can touch her. Zendaya? Never needed to perform sexy to be iconic. She just is. They didn’t escape the judgment, but they took control of their narrative. That’s the difference.
Voices from the Pop Radar!
It’s easy to think all this is just celebrity gossip, but these conversations shape the way we all see women, power, and beauty. I asked my team at The Pop Radar their thoughts on this and whew. The answers weren’t shocking, just painfully true.
Q: Why is sex appeal always at the centre of how we talk about female celebrities?
“The obsession with debating a female celeb’s ‘sexiness’ is a power game disguised as pop culture convo. It’s the internet playing judge, jury, and social executioner, deciding how much validation a woman deserves based on how well she aligns with beauty standards.”
“Sex appeal is currency. And the internet runs on clicks, engagements, and hot takes. A celeb’s outfit, pose, or even the way she breathes can ignite a war of opinions. Because deep down, people love having control over narratives they don’t actually own.”
“Being an It Girl is basically an unwritten contract that guarantees scrutiny. Whether she signed up for it or not, the moment she’s labelled ‘It,’ she’s no longer just a person, she’s a spectacle.”
Q: Why do you think women are often the loudest voices in these debates about other women’s sex appeal?
“It’s internalized misogyny, envy, low self-esteem. Comparison culture, definitely. Some women gatekeep attractiveness like it’s a VIP club. Like who does that? LOL.” ~ Basit
Q: Do you think some celebs are seen as “not sexy enough” because they don’t fit traditional beauty standards or don’t present themselves through a male gaze? Share examples if any come to mind.
“Remember when they said Fave wasn’t fine because she didn’t have a big bum? Or the man who said he’d ‘pity smash’ her? The worst part? No one called him out.” ~ Onaefe
“Florence Pugh in her sheer dresses, Billie Eilish in her oversized fits, the moment they don’t perform femininity the way people expect, the backlash starts.” ~ Black Mamba
Q: Are there any “It Girls” who completely bypassed this ‘sex appeal trial’ or flipped it in their favour? What did they do differently?
“Qing madi has bypassed the sex appeal p… but I think it’s because people don’t think she’s a top celebrity yet. Someone who flipped it in her favor is tiwa savage, her sex tape came out, and she just made a song about it,What else could they say?” ~ Onaefe
“Rihanna didn’t just embrace sex appeal, she made it hers. It wasn’t for the industry. It was hers. That’s why she’s untouchable.” ~Black Mamba
“Zendaya, Billie, Rihanna, they didn’t escape the scrutiny. They just decided to write their own scripts. That’s the difference.” ~ Basit
So What Now?
This whole thing is exhausting. Imagine constantly being told you’re either not sexy enough or trying too hard. Imagine your talent getting ignored because your hips didn’t show up to work that day.
If sex appeal is currency, then maybe it’s time women decide how and when they want to spend it. Or not at all.
Let’s be real, some of us are opting out of the Olympics altogether. You can keep the medals. Keep the scorecards. We’re not playing anymore.
Men are just too sexual, they should just marry the pick me women, and leave the rest of us alone